New job!!

Hi Everyone,

I know it has been SO LONG since I last posted, but you know... school always takes priority over all of my other hobbies, including this one.

So, I graduate this semester! My student teaching was complete on Dec. 7th, and I am now a certified teacher.

Other major announcement - I GOT A JOB!! I will be working here.

It is a privately owned in-patient treatment facility for at-risk teenage boys. I will be teaching Biology, Integrated Science, Chemistry, and Physics. Talk about INSANITY! I hope I can live up to their standards and what they are asking of me! I have to pursue my chemistry endorsement now... (SHOOT ME), but I will do it. Having a math science endorsement will pretty much guarantee me a job for the rest of my life. It will be hard though.

We are talking about the girl who baked herself a cake when she finished math forever (ha.. if she could see me now...), and had to spend almost every waking moment with a tutor to get a good grade in her college chemistry class. Thankfully instead of going to the tutoring lab, I have a brilliant husband who can help me this time.

The best part of all of this - I will only have a maximum of 6 kids per class, and I only teach 4 days per week! I have Fridays off! AWESOME! Also, they are offering me several thousand more per year than I would make in the public sector, with both health and dental benefits. How could I say no?!

I start January 3rd. Stay tuned for more excitement and adventure!

I wish EVERYDAY was test day!

I've been having some power struggles with my students this week. On Tuesday, I felt like:

"I HATE THIS!!"

Wednesday was a bit better...

....and today, my students are angels.

Why you ask? I gave them a big test. That is right, a big, fat, unit exam. They have looked like this all day:

No, these are not actually my students,

I would DIE if I had that many students in each class!

I mean... I do have almost 40 kids per class, but this would be ridiculous ;)

This is a really really big deal for me, because they usually look like this:

These aren't my students either, thank goodness.

I have big enough problems of my own.

Oh, and my students aren't this nicely dressed, either.

Monday is the first day that I am being evaluated by my university supervisor in health. Wish me luck! We are starting lessons on Self-Esteem next week.

Love Letter: Happy Birthday to My Sweetheart.

Today is my sweetie Nathan's birthday.

He is the most wonderful thing in my life, and I am so happy every day to be married to him. He always tells me how much he loves me, and always shows me by doing so many things for me. He is a wonderful man who does dishes, cleans house, and builds beautiful things for me. Who could ask for more?? He also is on the same page with me about all of the important things.

He reads books with me. He watches old episodes of Star Trek with me. He doesn't play video games. He is so sensitive to my feelings, and he thinks it is cute when I call him "hunny bunny". He tells me I am beautiful all of the time, and goes out of his way to make sure I am safe. He sends me texts during the day asking how I am and telling me how much he loves me and how much fun he had the night before...

I love him more and more every day.

He shared this video with me last week, and we watched it together and I cried a little. It is so touching. Since we watched it together, he has been leaving me little love notes every now and then. It is so sweet.

..... today I left a love note for him.

To live a retro life.

Nathan started compiling a verbal list yesterday of how we live like it is still the 50's and 60's. You all know I love all things retro, but seriously... I think I'm trying to time travel or something.

1. We live in an old house built in the 30's.

2. We do not watch television. (we own one, it is just not plugged in.)

3. Although we don't watch television, we do go to the movies.

4. I ride around my home town on a green cruiser bike with a basket. While wearing a dress.

5. I drive a Volkswagen beetle.

6. I only wear pants 1 or 2 days out of the week.. and rarely are they jeans. Skirts and dresses are the way to go.

7. We are high school sweethearts who went to the senior prom together. (doesn't that just scream "Back to the Future 1"?)

8. Often we go down to the local fishing hole when we have a spare minute or two.

9. I always wear a really frilly apron when I cook.

10. We use terms such as "ice box" and "cold pantry".

11. I bake my own bread

12. I listen to the news on the radio, not in my car, but in my living room.

13. I often sew my own clothes and household items.

14. Nathan and I make each other gifts. For instance, he made my rolling pin and dining room table, and I made him several ties and a case for the bass guitar he hand crafted

15. We wash our dishes by hand (Nathan HATES this. He will stand in front of the dirty dishes in the sink and whimper for a few minutes before he digs in.)

16. All of the veggies we eat in the summer are home grown.

17. I had a dream last night about raising our own pigs, and then seriously considered it when I awoke.

Etc.

Take my life:

Add a little sepia-tone:

What year is it again?

_______________________________________________

On a completely unrelated subject (kind of), Nathan and I have been going to bed really early lately. Like 9:30 or 10:00. This is because I've been getting up at 5 to make it to school on time, but it has actually been a nice change. I have always been a night owl, and used to stay up until 12 or 1 am quite frequently. We were known to go to the grocery store at 11 o'clock at night, or start a game or movie shortly before midnight. Those days are officially over.

One night last week, we found ourselves sitting in bed reading at about 9:30 pm. We were all ready for bed, and were just enjoying our respective books, when Nathan turns to me and says,

"This is really nice".

Then we went back to reading. When I told Mary about this experience, she said,

"You are now officially old."

And maybe I agree, because my body woke me up without an alarm at about 5:30 Sunday morning. Only old people's bodies wake them up on time without an alarm. Oh well, I like this change.

I also like watching the sun rise over the Salt Lake valley as I drive over the point of the mountain. Gorgeous.

A word or two about negative energy.

A polite letter to Negative Energy:

Dear Negativity,

I would really appreciate if you could get out of my life. Okay? Thanks.

....Oh, and one more thing, Negative Energy...

I would appreciate if you would get out of the lives of my students too.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Miz I

House progress

I've been meaning to blog these photos for a while, but I keep having other things to say. We have moved into the house, and the painting is finished AT LAST.

I will take a video tour of the house once everything is in it's place, and then you'll get to see what we've done. Our mismatched furniture certainly won't do the place justice, but whatever... It's alright with me.

Here is how things looked as of about a week ago....

Mary the Masking Tape Queen:

First Day Teacher

I started my student teaching on Monday at Hillcrest High School in Midvale. Things are going well, I am slowly becoming more comfortable, and getting to know my fellow teachers. I love it that I have already been mistaken for a student several times, both by teachers AND the student council. Hilarious. The SBO's (student body officers) snapped my picture on the way into school, just like I was a student. They are getting me an ID badge to prevent this from happening in the future. I can't have hall monitors running me down!

My dearest friend Mary graciously woke up to take this picture of me at 6am on my way out the door. She was sleeping over due to homeless week at BYU**. She also generously allowed me to borrow that cute pink top.

Enjoy!

**Homeless week is a strange, annual phenomenon that occurs when the summer student housing contracts end a week before the fall ones begin. Many innocent students are forced to find a place to store not only themselves, but also everything they own for a week of being homeless. Highly inconvenient... Especially if you are from out of town.**

Rockin' Vegas

Last weekend was my first out-of-state wedding shoot down in Las Vegas. My business partner and dear friend, the beautiful Jessica Bateman and I made the (quick) trip together. We left Friday morning in my shiny rental car, and arrived at about 5 pm.

We checked into our hotel, the Fitzgerald on Fremont Street in downtown Vegas. It is a pretty standard old-time vegas-y hotel with a giant smelly casino inside, a couple of theaters showing child star has-beens, a buffet, bar, and steakhouse on the second floor, and about 38 floors of rooms (not including the 13th floor. Don't go looking for it. There isn't one.)

If you aren't familiar with Fremont street, it is a pedestrian-only street that is completely covered by a giant canopy-thing that lights up with a neon light show three times each night. They call it the "Fremont Experience". Unfortunately, we hadn't turned our clocks back an hour, so when we went out for the show, it never started. After heading back to our room with intentions of going out later, we promptly fell asleep. Wow, we really know how to rock a Friday night in Vegas ;)

Fremont street holds some pretty interesting memories for me, though. It was on Fremont street, at the tender age of 14, when I saw my first staggering, blubbering, bottle-in-paper-bag-holding drunk. We were in town for my cousin Beverly's wedding, and my dad HAD to see the light show. I believe he had seen it on some travel channel, and after the reception he drug us out there for the 11:15 pm showing. I remember my mom being horrified by the gentlemen's club adverts, but I don't remember anything except the drunk guy. I remember him so clearly, I can even recall what he was wearing. (big, worn green flannel jacket, dirty dirty jeans, brown shoes, black hat.)

Nine years later, Fremont street hasn't changed much. Still full of people staggering around with drinks in their hands, and still smelling very strongly of cigarette smoke. It was still pretty fun, though. We treated ourselves to a nice dinner at a steakhouse in a neighboring hotel, and perused the offerings in the shops. Really though, if you are poor, don't gamble, and don't drink, there really isn't much to do in Vegas. We took a few cheesy snap-shots, held tight to our purses, and lost a few weirdos in the crowds.

I felt a little bit like I was in a Where's Waldo page, though. You know what I mean? Every where you look there are strange characters doing strange things. If walking Fremont street were a Where's Waldo page you could have fun looking for:

1. A show girl dressed entirely in feathers shoving an old man's face into her cleavage

2. Two girls in basketball shorts and wifebeaters fightly loudly over who used the other girl's razor and shampoo (complete with shouting posse)

3. A man staggering around zombie-style dressed up as dead Elvis

4. An Austin Powers impersonator sneaking into other people's photos

5. A large group of sorority sisters walking in a line, loudly singing Katy Perry songs

6. Much much much more.... every where you turn.

Enjoy a few pictures of our adventure:

that showgirl is totally posing, and I was pretending not to notice. ha ha.

Well, I must go. My honey is waiting for me in bed.

I definitely do not want to keep him waiting :)

Lots going on....

Sorry I have been a little bit of an inconsistent blogger, but we have been very busy. Things we've been doing:

1. Paint paint paint paint... AND MORE PAINTING

2. Photographing a wedding in Las Vegas

3. Looking like a weirdo walking around Vegas in modest clothing (and liking it).

I also have lots of pictures showing the work we've been doing on the house. It is coming along nicely. I FINALLY finished the cabinets, and now we are moving on to the other rooms. Hooray! I think now that the cabinets are done, things will be moving along muuuuch more quickly. Check back for photos. I have to go to work now, but I promise to post some soon.

We are moving and I'm excited about it.

Most newly weds (us included) can be compared to gypsies. Every so often, you pack up what little you own and attempt to make a new home in another place. We have been married for a year and a half and this will be our third move. I am definitely the most excited about this one, though!

Look at the beautiful house we are moving into!

Here is the Kitchen:

We are going to paint the upper cabinets yellow, and the beadboard inlays in both upper and lower cabinets will be a creamy white. The walls in the kitchen and the wainscoting in the breakfast room will also be the same creamy white. The walls in the breakfast room will be the same yellow as the cabinets. It's going to be adorable! Here is a closer look at the breakfast room:

Isn't that little built-in adorable? That is a little mirror on the bottom shelf! So cute! Also, hello little adorable BUILT IN FRIDGE! So retro, I can hardly stand it.

Below is the little hallway. I like to call it "The Vestibule". It is just way way too cool to be called a boring old hallway. Pfffft. It has a built-in dresser and cupboard, as well as a little built-in table for the telephone to sit on (I didn't get a picture of it though. Next time.) It also has the little trap door for the laundry shoot down to the basement, where the washer and dryer are. Genius!!!

The Vestibule will be painted a beautiful pale blue. It will really brighten up the space, considering it is in the center of the house and does not have the generous natural lighting like the rest of the house. P.s. aren't the lighting fixtures in this house THE BOMB?! Totally art deco. I'm in love.

Here is the Master bedroom. My cousins put in nice new carpet, so that is definitely a plus. We are painting the walls a lovely robin's egg blue. I think it will look fantastic with our dark wood and iron bedroom set. Also, of course some new window coverings are in order.

The bathroom needs some serious TLC, but unfortunately, we don't have the $$ to do an overhaul. Plus the original tile is so charming. (Why don't our new homes have this much personality anymore?!). The walls above the tile will be a light green to set off the tile better, and I think I will get a black shower curtain to bring in the black tiles as well. The toilet doesn't match the sink and toilet, but oh well.

Here is the office/idontknowwhat room. My grandparents used it as TV room, but I want our couch to be in the front room, and I cannot bear to separate the TV from the couch. Sorry. We like to cuddle when we watch movies.

The walls in here will be a lovely milky white (same as the kitchen). The carpet is also coming up, and you can see the wood floor beauties!! Wah wah wah!

Here is the front room. These pictures really don't do it justice. It has a beautiful vaulted ceiling, and yes it is covered in gaudy wallpaper, but you can only ask so much of poor college students. The wallpaper is staying for now, but we will see what happens next spring ;) The old old old carpet is coming up as well, allowing the wood floors to really shine! I don't think the wallpaper won't be so bad if it is not contrasting against the green. Also the ceiling in this room is wallpapered GOLD. It looks like gold leaf. I will have to get pictures for you next time. Also, please note the little music room off to the left. My grandma's grand piano used to be there.. but now I don't know what to do there. Suggestions anybody?

Last on our little tour is the dining room. It is in between the kitchen and the front room. It also has the wallpaper still, but again, the carpet is going. Hurrah.

There is also a HUGE basement, but it is in pretty bad condition, so maybe I will take some pictures once we move in and we've organized a bit. It still has a lot of my grandma's stuff down there, but I hope to organize it better and consolidate it into a smaller area. A list of the other rooms downstairs:

1. Bedroom #1 (where Nathan's band will practice. It also has a mideval mural of a princess and knight on the walls right now. My cousin's kids slept down there, and we're contemplating keeping it. It's actually quite cute, and adds a little interest to a dark basement room :)

2. Bathroom (not in working order.)

3. Kitchen (not in working order.)

4. Laundry room

5. Large food storage pantry with built-in cupboards and shelves.

6. Large furnace room (my grandma had a clothesline in here when I was a kid.)

7. Coal room, now used as a holiday decoration storage room. Yes, this house is that old that it has a coal room. You know, to store the coal to heat the house? Of course, sillies.

8. Large family room with fireplace.

9. Bedroom #2 just off of the family room.

This is simply the most charming house I have ever seen, and I am thrilled to be moving in! They really don't build houses like they used to. There are so many cool little features and so much personality!

Although, the man that built this house was such a perfectionist that he did commit suicide after it was finished.

Dang.

Yes, this house is that cool.

Sunday Picture of the Day

Taken by my nephew on the 4th of July 2009 at the Pleasant Grove City fireworks show.

So this will stop hurting... when?

Tough day today. I thought a lot about my baby. In heaven.

A few days ago, I said to Nathan while I was doing the dishes, "I don't think I am ready to have kids after all. My emotional reserve is used up."

I really felt that way, too. Too much anxiety, so much stress.. so many tears.. (not to mention all of the medical bills starting to flow in. Hello $250 pap smear.) I felt like I needed a break. And maybe a box of trojans. I felt like I was trying to move on and let things go.

Today I feel differently. I sat in church and looked at the beautiful babes being cuddled and kissed by their mothers. I looked at the little girls perched on their daddy's knees, the obvious looks of love on those daddy's faces. When a little blondie babe waved my way, I nearly lost it. I even longed to take the screaming child behind me into my arms.

Later this evening we went to a family birthday party for Nathan's sister. My beautiful niece who is a year and a half cheerfully toddled around the room, giggling and hugging everyone. I tried repeatedly to get her to come to me and let me cuddle her and kiss her rosy cheeks, but she cried and squirmed every time I tried. My heart broke. Not even my own baby stuck around to let me cuddle and kiss it, let alone this little one.

Nathan's sister is 37 weeks pregnant and glowing. She is expecting a boy. I am trying so very very hard to be happy for her. In fact, I am extremely happy for her, but it is also a very sad reminder of what I have lost.

Don't get me wrong, I have faith that we will get pregnant again... but that doesn't lessen the sting of loss. At least not yet.

Nathan took me to my parent's house on the way home from the birthday party. I crawled into bed with my mom and cried my eyes out. I cried so hard I nearly choked. My mom also lost her first baby, and she held me tight and handed me tissues while I cried.

My mom talked a lot about the atonement of Jesus Christ, too. She said that I need to let him take this pain away. I need to give it to him and let him help me carry the load. I know this is true, and I know that Christ can relieve any pain. Life is full suffering. The responsibility of bringing children into this world is a difficult task... not only physically, but especially emotionally. Christ has already experienced my suffering, and I know if I turn to him I can receive the peace I need to try again. Even now when I feel my emotional well is dry, He is there to fill it up again.... to fill it to overflowing.

Sunday Picture of the Day

In honor of my beautiful wedding ring, currently vacationing at the jeweler for a broken prong. Ouch!

Haven't seen my photography site? Check it out! www.katyivesphotography.blogspot.com

I am a fan of Cjane.

Have you ever read Cjane's blog? She is a very very inspirational woman, and I adore reading about her madcap vintage life. She amazes me and makes me want to wear a dress and high heels whilst campaigning for my favorite local politicians every day. She also has adorable kids, and an incredible life story. If you haven't read Cjane, you should check her out here. Then, make sure you come back here afterwards ;)

Cjane introduced me to this awesome new group called "The Lower Lights". They performed at their family's annual independence day gala, and after watching this video, I was very impressed! When they release an album, it will be mine. I will play it in my car and be spiritually edified.

Enjoy!

The Lower Lights // A Hymn Revival from The Lower Lights on Vimeo.

I have a crush....

...on Leonard Nimoy. I'm not even joking.

Normally I am not a trekkie kind of girl, but we've been watching the first season of the original Star Trek from the 60's. All I have to say is... I think I am attracted to highly logical men. (I married one after all).

Maybe I like logical men because I am a highly emotional woman. Opposites attract, right? Yes, Leonard Nimoy did a few pretty embarrassing things, like making a music video about hobbits and releasing an album of Star Trek related songs.. but I still like him even if he is a little bit silly sometimes. Never call Spock silly, though. He is definitely not silly.

Sunday Picture of the Day

...Because a picture is worth 1,000 words.

Taken March 13th, 2010 at the Draper, Utah Temple. Our 1st Anniversary.

Meet My Bike

I made this little purchase a few months ago, and already I have gotten some great mileage out of her. Isn't she beautiful? I haven't had a bike since I had a paper route in Jr. High, and so it was so much fun to hop on and discover that I can still ride like a pro. It also helps to have a cushy seat and pink rims. Come on now, who wouldn't love a bike that looks like a watermelon?!

**If you are wondering what that boxy thing is on my shoulder, it is a plant press. I used it in my wildflower botany class.**

Laugh or Cry (or Both!)

Time for a funny story. Enough with this depressing stuff.

An hour or so ago, I decided to take a nice hot soak in the bath. I stripped down naked and got the water running, and turned around to find a disgusting, squirming, enormous earwig writhing in my bathwater.

Now tell me, what would any sane, normal woman do? Of course. Scream repeatedly until their husband comes and kills it. Duh.

I even threw in a pretty melodramatically fake puking noise.

When Nathan didn't come to assist his damsel in distress, of course I went to find him. I popped out of the bathroom to find Nathan at the front door with our elderly neighbor, Mrs. B, who was holding a large, beautiful pie.

Yes, our front door is in direct sight of our bathroom door.

I yelped and popped back into the bathroom immediately, but not before poor Mrs. B. got an eyeful of the jiggly, disgusting, bloody mess that I am. Poor poor Mrs. B.!

Mrs. B. then called out kindly "Are you alright?" (Yes, she heard my screams and puking sounds), and I just popped my head out and reported that there was an earwig. I hid in the bathroom and sat there mortified until she left.

Nathan came to find me and laughed at me while I cried about it. I cried.... until I started laughing at how silly the whole situation was and how Mrs. B. was probably equally as embarrassed as I was.

I called her after I had composed myself and after saying that she "barely saw anything", she reported that she giggled all of the way home. What an awesome old lady.

Then I thoroughly enjoyed her delicious pie.

Lemon Meringue.

Convalescence

The dam that once was my preggy uterus finally broke yesterday. Both me and my poor uterus were puking our guts out. The pain was so bad that I thought Mr. Uterus was going to completely jump ship, but thankfully we both weathered the worst of it. Talk about scary amounts of blood and puke. Sorry, didn't want to get too graphic there.

Really though, the vomiting is probably my own fault. The pain was so bad from the cramps that Nathan suggested I take one of his Oxycodon pills from his hand accident last fall. (Please don't sick the doctor police on me.)

Well, I'm not sure if I have ever taken that kind of insanely ABSURD pain medication before, but my body didn't not like it. Not one little bit. My mom and dad came and peeled me off of my couch and took me home with them (making only one emergency road side puke stop). I spent the rest of the day while Nathan was at work rolling around in agony in my parents recliner/bathroom. Lovely.

Still cramping today, but nothing like yesterday. I am trying to talk my way out of having to take my ballroom dance final tonight. (yeah, fabulous timing, right?). I am pretty sure I will be able to avoid it and still get a decent grade. My teacher seems like an understanding type of person.

Mentally I am doing much much better. Tuesday was the worst day, full of lots of self pity, grieving, and wallowing in my own misery, but I am doing better. I still cry, but not all of the time. Thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family for all of your kind emails, comments, phone calls, texts, visits, trips to the store, fast food runs, and prayers. Even if I haven't gotten back to you (I'm still having a hard time talking about it), I still very much appreciate all of your kindness.

So in summary, even though my body feels like this:

... Wait... that is still too cute. Let's try again.

So even though my body feels like this:

...yes that is much more accurate.

My mind is beginning to feel a bit more like this:

No Baby.

Not anymore.

Update: Bedrest Day 2

Nathan woke me this morning at 11 am when he was leaving for church. I reluctantly crawled out of bed, feeling like a creature from the bottom of Utah lake. Feeling a bit more motivated then yesterday, I braved a shower. It felt awesome. I even went to the trouble of shaving and exfoliating my legs, and I feel like a new woman.

After standing for nearly 30 minutes, I ordered myself back to the couch with a bowl of cinnimon toast crunch and bananas. Yum.

The pain is not as intense this morning, especially easing in my lower back. Hooray! The last 24 hours I have passed nothing of as great significance as Friday night. Just small traces of tiny old blood clots, and yesterday morning, a microscopic spot of red blood. The doctor said if things were going well, that is what would happen - more brown stuff and maybe a little bit of blood. A bit of the tenderness in my chest had returned by yesterday evening, making me feel a little bit more pregnant again. I am starting to hope for the best again, rather than brace myself for the worst.

Nathan spent the day spoiling me yesterday. He is such a wonderful man. Seriously, how did I get so lucky?! He cleaned the house, started the laundry, and went to the grocery store. He bought me my favorite Burt's Bee's Pomegranate chap stick, and even a cute box of tissues to catch my tears. He also returned with two different flavors of ice cream (yes I sampled both. It is a special circumstance, ok?). He even went over to my parents house and hunted around until he found my childhood Super Nintendo. If you know me well, you know I am pretty anti-video games. We have agreed that we don't want to have any in our house when our children are growing up, but I suddenly needed my Super Nintendo to keep my mind off of things. I haven't played it in YEARS. I guess Super Mario World will always have a soft spot in my heart. That kept me distracted for a few hours, which was great. I can still kick butt at it too. My muscle memory is pretty great, I guess. He also returned with my favorite Chinese takeout for dinner, which slightly tempted me to eat something. Delish. We also played a epically long game of Scrabble. he kept trying to use words like "Gullboat"... whatever that is. He kept me giggling by doing his Betty Boop impression over and over. You should really ask to see it sometime. It is nothing like Betty Boop (whom he hates), but it is still hilarious.

One of my very dearest friends since childhood came over yesterday too. Knowing how much I was missing my mommy, she brought her mommy with her, who was like a second mother to me while we were kids. They cheered me up so much. Her mom has had many miscarriages, and it was such a comfort to talk to someone who knows what I am feeling. She talked me through it and helped me feel very calm. Seriously, those two were heaven sent, I have no doubt. After they left, my spirits were lifted and my heart was very calm.... in a way that a Betty Boop impression can never make you feel.

My dear brother Clint also came by last night and gave me a priesthood blessing with Nathan. It was very comforting. Nathan gave me a blessing on Friday night in the middle of the night, but it was nice to have another one. Clint is the best brother in the world. He held me and made me feel like I can cry and act like I am 5 again. Best big brother ever. Then he went on his way to take one of my dear friends on a 2nd date ;) I set them up, and I am dying to hear how it went.

Well, that is how things are going. My mom and dad's ship arrives tonight in British Columbia, and they will have cell service. They fly home tomorrow. It has been a long 2 weeks filled with too much drama. I can't wait to hear from them.

Don't know what else to do.

I probably have the worst timing in the world. I probably should not have announced my pregnancy.

Last night at about 12:30 I noticed I was passing some tissue, and it made me very scared. I had a strange pain all day yesterday that wouldn't go away, and so I wasn't really surprised that something might be wrong. I called the after hours line for my OB, and got to talk to the doctor. He said that it might be fine, but it might not. I am supposed to be on bed rest for the next couple of days and see what happens. I haven't seen any bright red blood, so that is a good sign.

I did not sleep well, and to make matters worse, my other pregnancy symptoms have dissappeared this morning.

I am sitting here just sick with worry, and all I want is my mom. Who is on a cruise in Alaska and out of cell phone range.

My Educational Philosophy

Ok folks,

I know this might be boring for some of you to read, but I felt pretty good after writing this. I had to write my educational philosophy for my Health Teaching Methods class, and it made me really reflect on WHY I want to be a teacher. (Yes, I still want to be one, sillies. ;)

BTW, I find out where I am going to student teach sometime in the next two weeks! Here is hoping I get someplace fabulous! (my secret fear is being placed with a burley old coach who uses old film clips and overheads! Heaven FORBID!)

Ok.. now the philosophy, followed by Goofy's teaching philosophy, as illustrated in a classic Disney cartoon entitled "Teachers Are People". Brace yourself for controversial references to bombs and guns.. yikes!

Educational Philosophy

April 2010

I feel so blessed to be part of a profession that values learning. Raised by parents who are both educators, my passion for learning is second only to God and family. I am excited every day at the possibility of sharing that same passion for learning and intellectual growth with my students.

In order for students to love learning, I believe that creating opportunities for them to succeed is essential. I want to be a teacher who challenges students, but also serves as a guide and a resource for them to arise to the challenge. By getting to know my students personally and understanding their strengths and weaknesses, I am able to better meet their individual learning needs.

I believe that good student-teacher relationships are essential to a productive classroom, but relationships must be maintained with clear expectations of behavior and respect. I will strive to create a safe environment in my classroom through trusting student-teacher and student-student relationships, where students feel safe and able to discuss controversial, sensitive, or emotionally-charged issues.

When discipline is required, I feel it is very important to control emotions and strive to think before you speak. I want the result of discipline to be long-term improved behavior and improved learning experiences for everyone. I believe that a good discipline system is based around prevention and understanding of expectations. I believe that the students should be a part of defining fair consequences for misbehavior, so that they feel ownership for their behavior in the classroom. As an educator, I will not take it personally when a student misbehaves. I will try to maintain a positive student-teacher relationship to help prevent harming a student's educational experience.

I believe that gaining an understanding of health and science enriches lives. These two subjects go hand-in-hand when discovering the human potential. The continually changing disciplines of science and health are intimately intertwined, and an understanding of both enhances the human experience. I feel that our students are at a critical time in their lives where possessing the right information can help them make important choices, potentially changing the course of the rest of their lives. I feel strongly that by engaging them in active learning experiences in both health and science, they will better understand the significance of their decisions regarding their personal health and relationships. They will be armed with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions.

I feel it is necessary to remain up-to-date with the most current research in the fluid fields of health and science. I strive to continually investigate, learn, and grow using new information from credible resources and professional organizations. I wish to provide my students accurate information, and also to present it to them in a technology-friendly way that the teenagers of today can appreciate.

Lastly, in this world of turmoil, I want to be a force for good. I want to be an example of someone who is happy and satisfied with my life, and daily strives to live it in a way that complements the material that I am teaching. I want to give my students a glimpse of the bright and hopeful future that can be theirs, and give them a piece of the roadmap to get there. I know that by teaching each student the immense value of their life and contribution to society, they will flourish and bloom into the beautiful, brilliant people they have the potential to become.

P.s. I know I am a greenie with next to no experience under my belt, but if you want to read what a REAL veteran teacher has to say, take a peek at this blog post. Love what he has to say, and makes me excited to get into the classroom and teach.

http://gravityandlevity.blogspot.com/2009/04/passon-is-way-street.html

Brace Yourself

If you have seen me around town, you may have noticed that I was wearing braces on my hands. For the last year or so.

People ask me almost every single day why I am wearing them, and I'm pretty tired of answering, actually. I really appreciate it when people don't ask or notice. As I put it to my coworker and friend, Shawna, "These braces are really cramping my style."

However, because I am writing this post ABOUT said braces, let me explain that I wear these braces because I have carpal tunnel syndrome. And yes, I have it pretty dang bad.

Carpal tunnel syndrome is an inflammation of the tissues surrounding the nerve as it passes through the carpal tunnel (a passageway of sorts) in between all of those little bones in the wrist. It can be caused by several different things, such as repetitive, non-ergonomic motion, or even vitamin deficiencies in your body. When your nerve is surrounded by these inflamed tissues, it "chokes" the nerve of good blood supply and proper nerve conduction, and ultimately with time can cause permanent nerve death.

Symptoms of this horrible condition include painful burning numbness in the hand (especially while lying down), weakness in the wrist and hand, shooting pains in the arm, stiffness in the fingers, etc.

Further complicating the issue, Nathan and I do not currently have health insurance. This is a source of constant, intense worry for me. Plus, the most common treatment for this condition is to have surgery. Surgery is very very expensive, and it also seems so drastic.

Now, before you leave me lots of comments about how your mother-in-law's high school boyfriend had the surgery and it totally worked, or how your college professor had it too, and it didn't work at all for him... let me tell you, I've heard it all. Literally, I have heard so many carpal tunnel stories I could probably write a book.

Because I wanted surgery to be a last resort, I chose to seek an alternative method of treatment. (One that I could afford). I went to see a highly recommended Chiropractor in Provo named Dr. Brady. He really is awesome, and he offers a student discount! I've been seeing him twice a week, once a week, and now every other week since November 6th of last year. I have seen a big improvement, that is for sure. The feeling has returned to the tips of my fingers (hooray! no more burning or cutting my fingers without realizing it!), but it is in no way cured. I don't think that I will ever get my wrists back to normal without pursuing more drastic treatment.

I came to this conclusion at about 4:30 am last Saturday morning after having only slept two hours. All symptoms of CTS are worse when lying down, and often I cannot find relief unless I am sitting upright. Sometimes, I sit upright most of the night, dozing pathetically in the blue light of the television. I thought to myself in the wee hours of the morning,

"I'm done. I cannot do this anymore."

I talked to Dr. Brady today, and he agreed that perhaps it is time to get the surgery. I don't feel that my 4 months with Dr. Brady have been in vain though.. He probably saved the nerves in my fingers from permanent damage.

We do have enough in savings to pay for the surgery outright, but it is still going to be VERY expensive, especially for two young married kids who work part time. If I get both wrists done, it could be as much as $8,000.

Ugh. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about that enormous number.

I called the surgeon today to set up my first $200-300 consultation appointment. (I'm a little bitter that it will cost me almost a whole paycheck just to have this important person grace me with his presence for a few minutes of his day). I was relieved when I was put on hold due to "a high volume of calls" as the pleasant-voiced, pre-recorded woman informed me.

I hung up.

Maybe tomorrow I will have the courage to follow through. I would appreciate it if you included us in your prayers while we are making this big decision.

Love is the answer.

I have discovered a new radio station that has really caught my interest. Maybe you have already heard of it? It is called KLOVE, and here in Utah Valley it broadcasts on the signal 90.5 FM. It is basically a Christian alternative rock station. As far as I can tell they are non-denominational Christians, broadcasting from somewhere in the Carolinas, and possibly sometimes Texas? Anyway, After investigating their "Beliefs" section of their website, I agree with almost every point of their ideology... and after becoming a pretty regular listener during my commute, I have learned to appreciate their whole "let's get together and pray for everybody" kind of attitude.

The majority of my readers will already know that am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka Mormon). For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Mormonism, we are Christian, and believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior and Redeemer. We believe that it is through His atoning sacrifice that we may be redeemed. I also want to make a note that we strongly believe in prayer and strive to pray several times daily. I am not always perfect at this, but I try my best and am hopefully always progressing forward. We also believe that the Bible is the true word of God, and we do study it continually as part of our worship services, and also in our personal study.

....These are just a few of many things I believe that I have in common with the most of the KLOVE listeners.

I must admit that at first I wasn't so sure about this Christian alternative station... After listening to it with Nathan several times, I asked him how he felt about it. He said that he felt it was a little bit irreverent sometimes. I thought about it more over the next few days, and I could see a little bit of what he meant. In our church we are taught to use the words "thee" and "thou" instead of "you" when addressing our Heavenly Father. We believe that using the thee/thou terminology is a way of showing respect to God when addressing Him directly. Many of these musicians and radio DJ's opt to use the more casual "you" in this situation.

As I thought more about this, I realized that it didn't really bother me very much. Sure, I myself would not use these casual terms, but these people believe differently than I do in this regard. This does not discredit their testimonies. I believe Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are a powerful force in these musicians lives, and I really like that. It is nice to hear something uplifting coming from the radio, isn't it?

I like what this radio station does for me. It helps me to remember to think about Jesus Christ more frequently during my day, and to take comfort in remembering my real purpose here on earth.

Below is a video of a song that really brought me peace today on my commute home from work. Often my brain feels fatigued and cranky on my way home, and too often I bring this attitude back to Nathan, and that is not very nice. I always try to mentally fight it so that I'm not such a downer when I walk through the door, and today this song about Love really made me turn my mental attitude around. It filled my heart with peace and made me feel good about what I am doing with my life. Take a listen, and be inspired :)



P.s. If you are wondering more about Mormonism, please visit Mormon.org

An Apple A Day Handmades

Good Day Friends...

My friend Allie asked me to do a little guest recipe post over at An Apple A Day Handmades.

So now this is your cue to mosey over there and check me out! No seriously.... go check me out. :)

(p.s. I made the apple a day banner too... so check it out!)

I love you my dear

This month is a month of VALENTINES! My friend Allie posted this on her blog, and I couldn't help but share. Click the picture to see this adorable esty shop.




I adore February.

p.s. Nathan is suddenly on an art kick. He's drawing a lot, and yesterday we decided to get re-invested in painting again. This time, together. I'm excited. I'll keep you posted.